Four million hits
October 26, 2012
At some point today, God willing and the Creek don’t rise, JPAttitude.com will register hit number four million.
I remember being excited about number one million, proud of two million, maybe a bit cocky when three million rolled past because it happened when I was neglecting the place somewhat, and now here’s four million.
I don’t know what to think about four million.
My enthusiasm is tempered by a consistently putrid Alexa rank and also by Matt Drudge’s recent announcement that his Drudge Report got one billion page views in 31 days. One billion. In 31 days. And if the comparison isn’t already bad enough, let me add that “page views” are better than “hits” (because each page view can result in multiple hits for technical and boring reasons) so this isn’t even a tortoise-racing-a-hare situation. It’s more like Drudge is a hare riding a bullet train while JPAttitude is a tortoise swimming upriver dragging an anchor.
Nevertheless, take heed, Mr. Drudge: according to Aesop the tortoise ultimately wins and according to the Bible “the race is not to the swift.”
It took JPAttitude 861 days to hit one million, 241 days to hit two million, 96 days to hit three million, and 76 days to hit four million. The pace is accelerating. The only question is whether it’s accelerating fast enough to garner me fame, fortune, and an invitation to smack down liberal nincompoops on Fox News Channel before I’m a hundred years old. The invitation is surely coming but I worry that I won’t still be sharp at that age. There are people who claim I’m not excessively sharp now.
Here’s the updated chart of JPAttitude’s hits showing the accelerating trend:
The chart shows twelve million by the end of next year (2013) which sounds pretty good until you realize those twelve million hits will have taken me over four years to achieve, whereas Drudge gets twelve million in about two hours.
On a more positive note, if I could get just one percent of those twelve million people to click on the Google ad—TOP RIGHT! THAT’S HOW THE WEBSITE MAKES MONEY PEOPLE!—Google would have to send me money occasionally. Which would not violate my principles.
Speaking of principles, I’ve received other modest proposals to pay me money, including some guy from an advertising agency who asked me to mention (and link to) a certain company in one of my columns. He said if I did this without making it obvious he would send me a hundred dollars. I thought about it. It’s a bit like Hollywood collecting money to fill Transformer movies with GM products... the only difference being that, unlike Hollywood, I still have a soul.
When one contemplates selling one’s soul, one hopes for a better price than a measly hundred dollars, doesn’t one? [righteous sniff, exit stage right]
Besides, it’s not easy unobtrusively working the name of a Nevada whorehouse into a column about politics. I spent fifteen minutes puzzling over it before I got frustrated and decided to maintain my ethical standards.
As I look back at the last three years three thoughts come to mind:
First of all, I had no idea when I started how much work would be involved. Unlike every other website on the Internet—no exaggeration—JPAttitude is not maintained by any sort of web page design software. No WordPress, no Microsoft Expression Web or SharePoint, nothing. I speak HTML and type it into Notepad, then upload it to the Internet. When you look out your car window and see an Amish farmer driving a horse-drawn wagon full of hay down the highway, that’s me except I’m the Internet version.
Second, I bit off more than I can chew with the number of issues JPAttitude documents. (There are eighteen of them listed at the top of the middle column.) It’s difficult keeping up with them. Trouble is, some of the issues are fecund. The issue of Obama, for instance, has produced so many offspring it leads me to despair. Lies, scandals, inexplicable appointments, dastardly agendas—the man is a one-man wrecking crew for America. In some cases, the offspring are themselves having offspring. For instance, when I decided to keep track of the man’s lies, it quickly spawned a separate web page specifically dedicated to lies about his background. (Does that make me a “birther?” I hope so.) I did drop one issue back in 2010 so don’t book me on Hoarders yet. Hopefully, after Obama loses this election, the pace of his lies will ease—although the example provided by Bill Clinton doesn’t make me optimistic.
(I have considered dropping the Islam issue because other websites do the job much more thoroughly but nobody else has a section like this, so for now it stays.)
Finally, I think websites like JPAttitude.com are more important than ever. America stands at a precipice, poised to go one way or the other—to the right, back up the mountain where God and Heaven await, or left, over the cliff where the bodies of our children and grandchildren will be smashed on the rocks of slavery and misery. It’s not difficult to make the right choice. It’s not even difficult to make an argument for the right choice. The difficulty is persevering in the face of constant and seemingly overwhelming deception by the forces of evil.
It’s a never ending war now waged on the Internet and hopefully JPAttitude.com is a useful weapon.
From Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA Tweet
I remember being excited about number one million, proud of two million, maybe a bit cocky when three million rolled past because it happened when I was neglecting the place somewhat, and now here’s four million.
I don’t know what to think about four million.
My enthusiasm is tempered by a consistently putrid Alexa rank and also by Matt Drudge’s recent announcement that his Drudge Report got one billion page views in 31 days. One billion. In 31 days. And if the comparison isn’t already bad enough, let me add that “page views” are better than “hits” (because each page view can result in multiple hits for technical and boring reasons) so this isn’t even a tortoise-racing-a-hare situation. It’s more like Drudge is a hare riding a bullet train while JPAttitude is a tortoise swimming upriver dragging an anchor.
Nevertheless, take heed, Mr. Drudge: according to Aesop the tortoise ultimately wins and according to the Bible “the race is not to the swift.”
It took JPAttitude 861 days to hit one million, 241 days to hit two million, 96 days to hit three million, and 76 days to hit four million. The pace is accelerating. The only question is whether it’s accelerating fast enough to garner me fame, fortune, and an invitation to smack down liberal nincompoops on Fox News Channel before I’m a hundred years old. The invitation is surely coming but I worry that I won’t still be sharp at that age. There are people who claim I’m not excessively sharp now.
Here’s the updated chart of JPAttitude’s hits showing the accelerating trend:
The chart shows twelve million by the end of next year (2013) which sounds pretty good until you realize those twelve million hits will have taken me over four years to achieve, whereas Drudge gets twelve million in about two hours.
On a more positive note, if I could get just one percent of those twelve million people to click on the Google ad—TOP RIGHT! THAT’S HOW THE WEBSITE MAKES MONEY PEOPLE!—Google would have to send me money occasionally. Which would not violate my principles.
Speaking of principles, I’ve received other modest proposals to pay me money, including some guy from an advertising agency who asked me to mention (and link to) a certain company in one of my columns. He said if I did this without making it obvious he would send me a hundred dollars. I thought about it. It’s a bit like Hollywood collecting money to fill Transformer movies with GM products... the only difference being that, unlike Hollywood, I still have a soul.
When one contemplates selling one’s soul, one hopes for a better price than a measly hundred dollars, doesn’t one? [righteous sniff, exit stage right]
Besides, it’s not easy unobtrusively working the name of a Nevada whorehouse into a column about politics. I spent fifteen minutes puzzling over it before I got frustrated and decided to maintain my ethical standards.
As I look back at the last three years three thoughts come to mind:
First of all, I had no idea when I started how much work would be involved. Unlike every other website on the Internet—no exaggeration—JPAttitude is not maintained by any sort of web page design software. No WordPress, no Microsoft Expression Web or SharePoint, nothing. I speak HTML and type it into Notepad, then upload it to the Internet. When you look out your car window and see an Amish farmer driving a horse-drawn wagon full of hay down the highway, that’s me except I’m the Internet version.
Second, I bit off more than I can chew with the number of issues JPAttitude documents. (There are eighteen of them listed at the top of the middle column.) It’s difficult keeping up with them. Trouble is, some of the issues are fecund. The issue of Obama, for instance, has produced so many offspring it leads me to despair. Lies, scandals, inexplicable appointments, dastardly agendas—the man is a one-man wrecking crew for America. In some cases, the offspring are themselves having offspring. For instance, when I decided to keep track of the man’s lies, it quickly spawned a separate web page specifically dedicated to lies about his background. (Does that make me a “birther?” I hope so.) I did drop one issue back in 2010 so don’t book me on Hoarders yet. Hopefully, after Obama loses this election, the pace of his lies will ease—although the example provided by Bill Clinton doesn’t make me optimistic.
(I have considered dropping the Islam issue because other websites do the job much more thoroughly but nobody else has a section like this, so for now it stays.)
Finally, I think websites like JPAttitude.com are more important than ever. America stands at a precipice, poised to go one way or the other—to the right, back up the mountain where God and Heaven await, or left, over the cliff where the bodies of our children and grandchildren will be smashed on the rocks of slavery and misery. It’s not difficult to make the right choice. It’s not even difficult to make an argument for the right choice. The difficulty is persevering in the face of constant and seemingly overwhelming deception by the forces of evil.
It’s a never ending war now waged on the Internet and hopefully JPAttitude.com is a useful weapon.
“Finally, from so little sleeping and so much reading, his brain dried up and he went completely out of his mind.” —Don Quixote
From Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA Tweet
October 28, 2012 - Congratulations! Keep up the common sense expositions! – RobertW, Ohio
October 26, 2012 - Congratulations JP. This is an awesome accomplishment! Just remember when you become rich and famous, I am (still) available to stand-in when your beautiful spouse can't accompany you to your many interviews, guest appearances, etc. There's not another person in the whole world who can do this except me:) You rock man!!! – Sta, Tennessee
October 26, 2012 - CONGRATS! Can't wait to see you on FOX. It won't be long. – Boomer Pie, Michigan
October 26, 2012 - Congratulations JP. This is an awesome accomplishment! Just remember when you become rich and famous, I am (still) available to stand-in when your beautiful spouse can't accompany you to your many interviews, guest appearances, etc. There's not another person in the whole world who can do this except me:) You rock man!!! – Sta, Tennessee
October 26, 2012 - CONGRATS! Can't wait to see you on FOX. It won't be long. – Boomer Pie, Michigan