I'm a regular contributor to IHateTheMedia.com... I was flattered that they asked and I'm a sucker for flattery.
(Plus they bribed me with a nifty IHateTheMedia coffee mug.)

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2012:    Dec   Nov   Oct   Sep   Aug   Jul   Jun   May   Apr   Mar   Feb   Jan
2011:    Nov   Oct   Sep   Aug   Jul   Apr   Mar

December 31, 2012
Germans agog over tightrope walking gorilla

"It’s Hogan’s Heroes all over again..."

December 30, 2012
Year-end guide to progressive sexuality: LGBTQQIAAP2SB

"They keep adding letters to the vicronym..."

December 27, 2012
Now he wants to amend the Bible

"Piers Morgan had this to say about the Bible..."

December 26, 2012
State Dept. Benghazi penalties are bogus

"Meanwhile, Hillary herself has completey disappeared. Welcome to Obama Term II."

December 25, 2012
CBS columnist writes Christmas Eve column calling Tim Tebow a phony

"Ever notice how the hatred directed at Christians reaches a crescendo at Christmas time?"

December 24, 2012
NBC’s David Gregory sends his kids to a school with armed guards

"Gregory mocked the NRA’s Wayne LaPierre for suggesting armed guards in schools..."

December 23, 2012
Here comes another Kennedy

"Let’s face it: Massachusetts will even elect a murderer if his name is Kennedy."

December 21, 2012
U.S. Olympian leads secret life as $600-an-hour Vegas call girl

"...when a 1500-meter runner gives you a lap dance, it lasts about a minute and ten seconds."

December 20, 2012
End of days and John Boehner

"Meaningless coincidence, or did the Mayans know something?"

December 19, 2012
New York Times labels Tim Scott a “token”

"When liberals let their inner racist out, they disguise their inner depravity by trying to sound intellectual..."

December 19, 2012
Progressive talk station in Columbus folds, blames Obama

"...lack of advertising support from the Obama campaign… ensured that we will be unable to continue into the new year."

December 19, 2012
The end of the university as we know it

"...and these are the same brainiacs Obama has running the country."

December 18, 2012
Rhode Island professor goes on murderous Twitter rant

"...in support of gun control."

December 17, 2012
He’s ba-ack! Dukakis to replace Kerry in Senate

"Dukakis, Reid, and Frank Lautenberg can pretend-drive tanks together at weekly meetings of the Senate Senility Club."

December 16, 2012
Jamie Foxx admits movie violence inspires real-life violence

"Ya think, Jamie?"

December 15, 2012
Detroit pastor threatens governor’s home, daughter, and church

"Those doggone union supporters: nothing but class."

December 15, 2012
Jews not safe in Copenhagen

"We hate to sound harsh, but Europe has become a giant toilet that needs flushing."

December 14, 2012
ESPN analyst calls Robert Griffin III a “cornball brother”

"...because he has a white fiancée and there’s a rumor he might be a Republican."

December 14, 2012
President immediately uses Connecticut school shooting to advance political agenda

"Does this guy ever stop campaigning? For anything?"

December 14, 2012
Anti-smoking fanatics want to require a smoking license

"This might work out well for liberals..."

December 13, 2012
Cavuto cuts off Rep. Eddie Bernice Johnson

"...then calls the interview “a total waste of time.”"

December 13, 2012
Planned Parenthood sends out a fundraising letter

"She didn’t mention they’re also reaching more babies than ever..."

December 12, 2012
Loose cannon Rep. Jim Moran’s loose cannon son pleads guilty

"Now he’s admitted beating up his girlfriend..."

December 12, 2012
Pelosi addresses GOP’s lack of concern about Kwanzaa shopping

"Fiscal cliff? What fiscal cliff?"

December 12, 2012
U.S. Army working on new manual for troops in Afghanistan

"new handbook orders soldiers not to criticize the Taliban..."

December 12, 2012
Something else Obama lies about

"Every once in a while there’s an announcement that we killed a top terrorist somewhere..."

December 12, 2012
U.N. makes Mauritania vice president of Human Rights Council

"Mauritania is the last country on Planet Earth where slavery is normal..."

December 12, 2012
Union goon pretends to be a girl

"Chris Opalewski of the IBEW, apparently likes to cross-dress in his spare time..."

December 11, 2012
Arch liberals at Google shelter $10 billion in tax-free Bermuda

"...they want us to pay higher taxes, not themselves."

December 11, 2012
Benghazi security personnel were unarmed

"They never managed to fire one bullet in defense..."

December 11, 2012
Another administration official expresses admiration for communist China

"This time it’s Jeffrey Immelt, chairman of the president’s Council on Jobs and Competitiveness..."

December 10, 2012
Novak Djokovic buys entire world supply of donkey cheese

"...there’s nothing better than ass cheese omelet with a cup of elephant poop coffee."

December 9, 2012
Swaziland wants to increase taxes on witch doctors

"Look at the parallels..."

December 8, 2012
New elephant poop coffee hits high-end cafés

"What is it P.T. Barnum said about suckers?"

December 7, 2012
Watch the United Nations in action

"Warning: watching this video will affect your blood pressure."

December 6, 2012
Michigan legislature passes right-to-work in spite of union protests

"At one point eight union thugs tried to rush the Senate floor..."

December 6, 2012
Unemployment moves sharply higher after election

"...maybe the unemployment rate reported before the election was a dastardly lie..."

December 6, 2012
Chicago’s 2nd Congressional District Part II

"We already met Mel Reynolds, the pervert. Here’s another candidate..."

December 5, 2012
Bill Nye the astonishingly ignorant Science Guy

"Morgan and Nye sounded like medieval druids dancing around a solstice bonfire baying at the moon..."

December 5, 2012
High school locked down because of thermometer

"No, the thermometer didn’t break and spill mercury..."

December 5, 2012
Canadian patients average 18-week wait for surgery

"Imagine waiting months for a coronary bypass..."

December 4, 2012
Al Jazeera owner has poet imprisoned for life

"...six months after receiving the Roosevelt Foundation’s Freedom of Speech and Expression Award."

December 3, 2012
Ethnic cleansing in the Middle East

"The graphic says it all."

December 3, 2012
Obamas fill White House with 54 Christmas trees

"One for every state."

December 2, 2012
ABC News assigns anti-Christian anti-Israel Christiane Amanpour

"...to host primetime special about the history of the land of Israel."

December 1, 2012
West Point chapel hosted its first lesbian wedding today

"...no political agenda involved in this, just a love match."

December 1, 2012
Lego Beauty Shop nominated for TOADY Award as worst toy of 2012

"“Why?” you ask..."

November 30, 2012
British doctors euthanizing babies and children

"...in the most painful inhumane manner possible."

November 30, 2012
800-member clerical union costing LA ports $1 billion a day

"It’s Union Economics 101: squeaky wheel gets the grease."

November 29, 2012
New analysis says Greenland ice not melting as fast as they thought

"Just like their warnings about Himalayan ice and Antarctic ice were dramatically wrong..."

November 29, 2012
Chicago’s 2nd Congressional District

"Democracy in action, Chicago style."

November 28, 2012
Fourteen is the new fifteen

"In 1997 or 1998, global warmists quietly changed the baseline average surface temperature of Earth..."

November 28, 2012
Tiny jellyfish holds the secret of immortality

"Christian Sommer found immortality exactly where Utnapishtim told Gilgamesh it could be found..."

November 27, 2012
China’s People’s Daily falls for Onion spoof naming Kim Jong Un “Sexiest Man Alive”

"...nobody noticed the guy wasn’t sexy? Really?"

November 27, 2012
Naked protestors display ire in John Boehner’s office

"They were upset about potential spending cuts in HIV programs..."

November 26, 2012
Time magazine considering Sandra Fluke for 2012 Person of the Year

"Barf amongst yourselves."

November 26, 2012
Sandy victim who got famous hug and promise of “immediate help” from Obama

"...still hasn’t received any help."

November 26, 2012
Obama wants women in combat infantry units...

"but after opening the Marine Corps’ three-month-long Infantry Officer Course to women..."

November 26, 2012
Gaia worshipping enviromentalists rank countries for happiness and sustainability

"According to the Happy Planet Index, the United States is a worse place to live than Venezuela, Cuba..."

November 26, 2012
Truck driver spent seven months in a Mexican prison for wrong turn

"Meanwhile, nobody responsible for the “Fast and Furious” scandal has spent a single day in jail."

November 25, 2012
Is western civilization fatally ill?

"It's bad enough when a culture engages in perversion reluctantly..."

November 24, 2012
Obama used green energy loans to recycle money back to donors

"His first term was so corrupt..."

November 24, 2012
Science journalist equates climate skeptics to pedophiles

"“What if I told you pedophilia is good for children?” asks Robyn Williams..."

November 24, 2012
What if they held a cap-and-trade auction and nobody showed up?

"The brilliant budgeteers in California..."

November 23, 2012
Obama bootlicker Ben Smith earns eponymous entry in Urban Dictionary

"The Politico writer and editor-in-chief of Buzzfeed inspired the dictionary entry “Bensmithing...""

November 22, 2012
America’s first experiment with communism

"The first Thanksgiving is usually dated to 1621..."

November 21, 2012
Obama mocks Romney during Thanksgiving turkey pardon

"Some people are sore losers, but Obama is something new: a sore winner."

November 21, 2012
Meet the man most responsible for vote fraud in the United States

"His name is Dickinson Debevoise..."

November 20, 2012
Tech startup offering free downloadable college textbooks

"Normally we are in favor of the free market, but..."

November 20, 2012
Tolkien’s daughter suing producers of The Hobbit

"When the Shire gets upset, the forces of Morgoth tremble..."

November 19, 2012
The REAL scandal at the CIA

"...is not that Director Petreaus was having sex with his hagiographer."

November 19, 2012
Turns out OJ really didn’t kill Nicole

"No wonder that glove didn’t fit."

November 18, 2012
Spain threatening Gibraltar

"What is this, 1588?"

November 17, 2012
Secret Service agents prepping for Obama visit startled by big lizard

"The big question: What was Janet Napolitano doing in Thailand?"

November 17, 2012
DA/Porn star admits he was lying

"Typical Democrat..."

November 16, 2012
Appeals court overturns Michigan constitutional amendment

"...not placing a burden on white kids is a burden on the other kids."

November 16, 2012
Huffington Post and CNBC printing Russian propaganda

"Of course they don’t actually call it that..."

November 15, 2012
San Francisco nudists rise again

"According to their attorney, nudists shouldn’t be exposed to “nudophobic bigotry.”"

November 14, 2012
Jay Carney refers all scandal questions to other agencies

"10 times in 10 minutes he told reporters to go ask their questions somewhere else..."

November 14, 2012
Obama nominates openly gay black man to federal bench

"Judge William Thomas joins six other openly gay judges nominated by Obama..."

November 13, 2012
CBS analyst says white people oppose abortion to “build up the race”

"Never mind how racist that comment is..."

November 12, 2012
Sesame Street’s Elmo accused of sex with underage boy

"Now we know why Tyco named their toy “Tickle Me Elmo.”"

November 12, 2012
Juan Williams thinks the answer for all problems is to copy...

"California. Yes, California. That’s the model according to Juan..."

November 12, 2012
Emails reveal Al Gore’s climate propaganda perfidy

"Al Gore badly wanted film of an Australian fire tornado so he could blame it on climate change..."

November 11, 2012
Candy Crowley asks Sen. Menendez about Petraeus extramarital affair

"But somehow this crack CNN journalist fails to ask Bob about his own Dominican prostitution scandal..."

November 10, 2012
First post-election poll shows dissatisfaction with Obama

"Results are unofficial."

November 9, 2012
Weird meat-eating sponge found in California

"If they don’t name this thing after the Occupy movement..."

November 8, 2012
If you’re not angry with Romney, read this

"You will be..."

November 8, 2012
Obama got 99 percent of the vote in some Philadelphia wards

"Plus they reported massive turnout..."

November 8, 2012
Not only do dead people vote...

"sometimes they win."

November 7, 2012
Allen West demands recount

"There's a name for that, Mr. West. It’s called a Franken Count..."

November 6, 2012
Guess what those international election observers have to say

"They can’t believe we let people vote without ID..."

November 5, 2012
Do you feel safer knowing...

"the Secretary of Homeland Security is too stupid to use email?"

November 4, 2012
Las Vegas union registering noncitizens and making them vote

"Now you know how Harry Reid won reelection in 2010."

November 4, 2012
UN rep/Princeton prof Richard Falk calls for “world capital” in Istanbul

"At first you want to snicker at the notion..."

November 4, 2012
Cash-strapped British Foreign Office spent 10,000 pounds to re-stuff a dead snake

"But the bureaucrats defended themselves..."

November 3, 2012
Liberal college lets transgender pervert expose himself to little girls

"Liberalism: real-time 24/7 reductio ad absurdum."

November 2, 2012
MSNBC is three times more biased than Fox News

"According to Pew Research Center..."

November 1, 2012
Obama inauguration pastor says all white people will go to hell

"According to Reverend Dr. James Lowery..."

November 1, 2012
Business Week admits blaming Sandy on global warming is silly

"...then does it anyway."

November 1, 2012
After 25 years of construction, North Korea might finally finish its new hotel

"...next year. Maybe."

October 31, 2012
Saudi wedding guests are shoo-ins for 2012 Darwin Awards

"They started firing their guns into the air in celebration..."

October 30, 2012
Hurricane Sandy vs. CNN’s Ali Velshi

"You try to be a good person, right? But then you see a dumbass reporter..."

October 30, 2012
How bad is the financial crisis in Hungary?

"They’re going to sell Hungarian citizenship..."

October 29, 2012
Michael Mann claims in court filings that he won a Nobel Prize

"He didn’t..."

October 29, 2012
Pop quiz: what do Havana and Detroit have in common?

"Answer: leftwing rule since 1961..."

October 28, 2012
Lest we forget

"...that the upcoming presidential election is important..."

October 27, 2012
THIS is why we hate the media

"After propagandizing in favor of Obama for five straight years, the New York Times..."

October 26, 2012
How stupid is the TSA?

"This stupid..."

October 25, 2012
It’s a woman’s world

"Apparently the “War on Women” is over and men lost."

October 25, 2012
U.N’s Human Rights Council calls for boycott of U.S. companies...

"that do business in Israel."

October 23, 2012
The ties that Biden – Joe’s brother snags $1.5 billion Iraq deal

"The founder of the company denies that politics played a factor..."

October 23, 2012
While California burns, Rally for Nudity participants fiddle

"It happened Saturday in San Francisco, naturally..."

October 22, 2012
More than 50% of foreclosures are now repeats

"When Obama took office it was less than 20%..."

October 21, 2012
Innovative special forces ready to deal with Islamic terrorism

Squeal Team Six

October 20, 2012
Huffington Post loonie tune kicked out of Hating Breitbart premiere

"Ryan Clayton was apparently screaming during the movie..."

October 20, 2012
Black-on-white violence may be Obama legacy

"The history of racial healing in the U.S.: ..."

October 20, 2012
Remarkable unfathomable ignorance of Debbie Wasserman Schultz

"She doesn’t know about one of the biggest stories of the Obama presidency..."

October 19, 2012
Gallaudet University fires diversity officer for being too diverse

"Diversity is fine, apparently, as long you are diverse in a politically correct manner..."

October 18, 2012
Whoopi Goldberg pretending to be a journalist...

"is just embarrassing."

October 18, 2012
Zumba hooker getting a rise out of Kennebunk

"...what do you bet Zumba classes across the nation are getting an influx of new male members?"

October 17, 2012
Taliban hates the media, too

"The Taliban thinks if the media would just give them a chance to explain..."

October 17, 2012
John Kerry says he needs an exorcism

"We agree..."

October 16, 2012
Biden claims he played on the University of Delaware football team

"He didn’t..."

October 16, 2012
Andrea Mitchell thinks Felix Baumgartner traveled faster than light

"...we said we would stop calling MSNBC people stupid… but gee whiz."

October 15, 2012
New Hampshire Public Radio edits debate tape to favor Democrat

"Now we know where they train people for NBC..."

October 14, 2012
State Dept. hired small British firm with no experience to protect Benghazi consulate

"Then the manager of the contract flew out of Libya hours before the attack..."

October 13, 2012
Racist, perverted, misogynist Reddit troll exposed by Gawker

"He posted with the ID “Violentacrez,” his real name is Michael Brutsch, that’s his picture, and..."

October 12, 2012
Another silly Peace Prize from Norwegian leftists

"They gave the Peace Prize to the European Union..."

October 11, 2012
State Dept. security chief says, “We had correct number of assets in Benghazi..."

"Deputy Assistant Secretary of State Charlene Lamb..."

October 10, 2012
AP distributes embarrassing photo of Romney...

"...then apologizes."

October 10, 2012
Spielberg holds release of Lincoln until after election

"Liberals must live their whole lives in confusion..."

October 9, 2012
Twitter explodes after black actress endorses Romney

"Racist liberals went berserk when Stacey Dash tweeted, “Vote for Romney...""

October 8, 2012
Hundreds of British hospital patients accidentally died from lack of food and water last year

"Remember Donald Berwick?"

October 7, 2012
U.S. military ordered Royal Marines not to shoot Taliban

"U.S. commanders were afraid noisy night operations with all the rude nasty bright lights might disturb local Afghans..."

October 7, 2012
Norwegian scientists say electric cars NOT good for the envronment

"This is pretty much what we’ve all been thinking..."

October 7, 2012
Sometimes we forget...

"...that leftists and Islamists are natural allies."

October 6, 2012
This is Colleen Lachowicz

"Colleen is a Democrat candidate for state senate in Maine. She’s also the rogue orc Santiaga..."

October 5, 2012
Daily Kos accuses Romney of using cheat sheet

"The Romney campaign says it was a handkerchief..."

October 5, 2012
How bad is the financial crisis in Italy?

"Venice wants to secede..."

October 4, 2012
Facebook reaches one billion users

"Here’s the math: one billion regular users times fifteen updates per month each (average) equals..."

October 3, 2012
Chris “Thrill up my leg” Matthews unhappy with Obama’s debate performance

"“I don’t know what he was doing out there!” raged the thrillmeister..."

October 3, 2012
Government health care – another encouraging example

"In Australia the government distributed a poster of the female body..."

October 1, 2012
Rappers have angry fight at BET Hip Hop Awards

"...hey, this is hip hop we’re talking about, not the MacArthur Foundation."

October 1, 2012
Who says newspapers are a dying industry?

"The Washington Post Co. announced today that it’s acquiring a majority stake..."

September 30, 2012
Charismatic Henrique Capriles giving Hugo Chavez a run for his money

"The most worried man in Venezuela? Capriles’ life insurance agent..."

September 30, 2012
Democrats really are ugly

"A long time ago I wrote a column making the case that liberals are ugly. Now there’s a scientific study..."

September 29, 2012
Katie Couric voted Worst Reporter in History of Man

"She barely edged out Dan Rather..."

September 28, 2012
Matt Damon anti-fracking movie financed by oil-rich United Arab Emirates

"It’s always a conundrum for Hollywood leftists when their anti-Americanism collides with their anti-capitalism..."

September 28, 2012
Joe Scarborough mocks Romney for something that didn’t happen

"First Thomas Roberts, then Chris Matthews, now Morning Joe. Let’s call it The Week Of Stupid at MSNBC..."

September 28, 2012
Democrats darken photo of Mia Love for campaign mailer

"This is the opposite of what the media did with Trayvon Martin’s photo..."

September 27, 2012
Reuters and AP publish photo of Israel’s prime minister frozen in Heil Hitler salute

"Both wire services, supposedly acting independently..."

September 26, 2012
North Carolina hog farms importing 826,733 tons of corn from Brazil

"Meanwhile, thanks to Global Warming alarmists and liberal pipe dreams..."

September 24, 2012
Obama fills 5,000-seat arena with 18,000 people

"On Saturday Obama gave a speech in Milwaukee’s BMO Harris Pavilion..."

September 24, 2012
Thomas Roberts is as dumb as Chris Matthews

"It’s like they’re putting stupid pills in the MSNBC water coolers..."

September 23, 2012
San Francisco Democrats send Obama into space

"Unfortunately, the Obama came back..."

September 22, 2012
Chris Matthews plays both parts in Dumb and Dumber sequel

"On HBO’s Real Time last night, he claimed that unemployment under Bush was “well past ten percent...""

September 22, 2012
CNN steals dead ambassador’s diary

"First they acquired Christopher Stevens’ diary, then they based reports on it..."

September 21, 2012
Chick-fil-A chickened out

"To get city approval for a restaurant in Chicago..."

September 20, 2012
Pencil-Necked Sissy II – The Sequel

"For God’s sake, who is this Dempsey guy and whose side is he on?"

September 20, 2012
Does Wasserman Schultz speak Klingon?

"Yeah, sure, conspiracy theories about aliens taking over the government are passé, but..."

September 19, 2012
Case study showing how the NY Times propagates a lie

"First a feminist professor at Harvard comes across a fragment of ancient Egyptian papyrus..."

September 18, 2012
DOJ emails show Media Matters acting like a public relations stooge for Eric Holder

"With all we know about MMfA’s dishonesty and partisanship, why..."

September 17, 2012
Could the Taliban kill Prince Harry?

"From Michael Yon, the greatest war correspondent ever..."

September 16, 2012
Tony Shalhoub thinks the First Amendment is a slippery slope

"No, he’s not saying restrictions on free speech are a slippery slope..."

September 15, 2012
Chris “Thrill up my leg” Matthews says Romney was arrogant to think he could run for president againt Obama

"Maybe it’s time we stop making fun of Matthews..."

September 14, 2012
MSNBC analyst blames Middle East violence on “horrible” Americans

""But we’re horrible too,” said Georgetown professor Eric Dyson..."

September 12, 2012
Martin Dempsey responds to Muslim violence with tough talk

"Tough talk for Pastor Terry Jones, that is..."

September 11, 2012
CNBC host Jim Cramer claimed his father couldn’t vote this fall because he lacks Pennsylvania Voter ID

"Then a couple hours later Mr. Cramer admitted there isn’t a problem..."

September 11, 2012
Striking Chicago teacher can’t spell

"“Neiborhood?” Really?"

September 11, 2012
Saturday was the second annual Slut Walk San Francisco

"This lady’s sign says..."

September 10, 2012
Trenton mayor Tony Mack arrested by FBI for corruption

"Ho hum, another day, another dirty Democrat mayor. Yawn..."

September 10, 2012
After years of seeing NFL uniforms made by Reebok...

"this weekend we saw uniforms made by Nike and they were, well, butt ugly."

September 9, 2012
Obama gets a lift

"Like Biden with the biker girl on his lap in Ohio, Obama seems to be enjoying his man hug..."

September 9, 2012
Jews and Muslims stage circumcision march in Berlin

"Wow, the Germans somehow managed to get Jews and Muslims working on the same side..."

September 8, 2012
White House misses deadline for required spending cuts

"The Sequestration Transparency Act signed in August says the president had to hand them in yesterday..."

September 7, 2012
Bob Rubin falls in the swimming pool during Democrat Convention happy hour

"Nothing changes for Clinton’s former Treasury Secretary..."

September 6, 2012
As long as we’re on the topic of stupid Democrats...

"Mark Alan Siegel, the Palm Beach County Democrat Chairman, says..."

September 5, 2012
Guess who else wised up

"Democrats decided to put God and Jerusalem-is-the-capital-of-Israel back in their party platform..."

September 5, 2012
Guess who finally wised up

"Bart Stupak is the pro-life Democrat dimwit who provided the final vote for Obamacare..."

September 4, 2012
Democrat Party lies about its civil rights history on website

"“For more than 200 years, our party has led the fight for civil rights,” says the DNC website..."

September 4, 2012
President got chilly reception at Fort Bliss because he shortened troops’ holiday weekend

"The Obama campaign had the bright idea of ordering people to attend..."

September 4, 2012
Federal judge orders sex change for Massachusetts convict

"Just when you were thinking California is where all the crazy transgender stuff happens..."

September 3, 2012
Rappers for Romney?

"This could be a new voting bloc for conservatives..."

September 2, 2012
Jumah spokesman at Democrat Convention claims Muslims discovered America

""Muslims visited America prior to Columbus. It was a Muslim who guided Columbus...""

August 31, 2012
From the “No shit, Sherlock” department

"Journalists in Tunisia say the new Islamic government is clamping down on their right to free expression..."

August 30, 2012
Chris Matthews lied about where he lives...

"so he could appear more racially sensitive..."

August 30, 2012
Donkey kills mayor

"One question: if a donkey kills a Republican, is that a hate crime?"

August 29, 2012
This might explain the 2008 presidential election

"A shocking new study in the weekly science journal Nature suggests the human species is deteriorating..."

August 28, 2012
Katie Couric whines, “It wasn’t my fault!”

"They paid her $15 million a year and she got lousy ratings, but Katie blames..."

August 27, 2012
Boehner admits he hasn’t read the Republican Platform

"With friends like these, who needs enemies?"

August 22, 2012
So THAT’S the problem

"The Justice Department has been actively recruiting people with “severe intellectual disabilities...”"

August 21, 2012
Obama cancelled bin Laden mission THREE TIMES...

"after getting cold feet."

August 20, 2012
The amazing story that didn’t happen

"In the midst of his embarrassing and unpopular three-day campaign trip to Iowa, as President Obama’s bus..."

August 20, 2012
Augusta National Golf Club admits first two women

"They’re both Republicans: Condoleeza Rice and Darla Moore..."

August 19, 2012
Squatters and pigs wrecking Nazca lines

"They’ve built shacks and settled on the UNESCO world heritage site..."

August 18, 2012
ACLU’s star Voter ID victim gets photo ID

"They were claiming Viviette Applewhite could not get photo ID..."

August 15, 2012
World’s dumbest high-tech billionaire at it again

"...Bill Gates held a “Reinvent the Toilet” fair in Seattle..."

August 13, 2012
Hypocritical Hamas leader sends brother-in-law to Israel for heart surgery

"He openly calls for the destruction of Israel... but..."

August 11, 2012
What’s up with the name Harry?

"First it was Harry Reid... Now it’s Harry Belafonte..."

August 10, 2012
NASA’s brand new “green” planetary lander crashes on takeoff

"That’s bad news for NASA, but what do they expect..."

August 10, 2012
Sterilization of 15-year-olds without parental consent?

"Obamacare: it’s in there..."

August 9, 2012
California school district will spend $1 billion to borrow $100 million

"Poway Unified School District is down by San Diego..."

August 9, 2012
Florida prosecutors “accidentally” release Zimmerman’s college records

"Now we know the poor sap flunked a course and was put on academic probation..."

August 8, 2012
Chairman of “Tolerance in Islam” conference attacked by Muslim attendee

"Tolerance in Islam: either piquant irony or pungent oxymoron..."

August 8, 2012
More unintended consequences from Global Warmists

"This time it’s a waste gas called Fluoroform..."

August 7, 2012
U.N. owes U.S. money, claims check is in the mail

"Not only do they owe us $100 million..."

August 5, 2012
Olympic doping the old-fashioned way

"Ancient Greek athletes would eat raw testicles..."

August 1, 2012
President Obama: Speaking softly and carrying a big stick

"The photo is meant to be visual evidence of Teddy Roosevelt-like manliness..."

August 1, 2012
NYTimes says Obama is descended from an American slave...

"...on his mother’s side. But not just any slave..."

August 1, 2012
Radical environmentalists want to destroy the hydroelectric dams on the Klamath River

"Not happy with the pace of destruction they’ve engineered for the state of California..."

July 31, 2012
Sacramento Bee still calling Muslim suicide bomber “alleged"

"Here’s the headline on the article..."

July 31, 2012
Multi-billion-dollar NASA/IPCC climate models lack “predictive skills”

"The NASA/Hansen and IPCC computer simulations are both failing dismally..."

July 29, 2012
LGBTQI... just another lifestyle

"Oneal Ron Morris is a transgender man (that’s his mugshot above) who..."

July 26, 2012
Rahm Emanuel rejects Chick-fil-A, then welcomes Louis Farrakhan

"Leave it to Drudge to highlight liberal insanity..."

July 25, 2012
“Ice melt stuns scientists”

"That was the headline Yahoo used..."

July 24, 2012
Sally Ride’s family outs her posthumously

"According to her sister, Bear Ride..."

July 23, 2012
Holmes’ Tea Party affiliation wasn’t the only thing ABC got wrong

"ABC reported that his mother..."

July 22, 2012
PETA promotes vegan condoms to teens

"Regular condoms use a substance derived from milk, you see..."

July 20, 2012
Kennedy sideswipes truck, truck driver gets ticketed

"Kerry Kennedy, RFK’s daughter, ran into Rocco Scuiletti’s truck on the expressway..."

July 20, 2012
Confirmed: Obama spends more time golfing than working on the economy

"...600 hours spent playing golf, 412 hours in economic meetings."

July 20, 2012
Muslim shouting “Allahu Akbar” tries to steal Olympic flame from torch bearer

"If it’s not unions trying to destroy the Olympics, it’s Muslims..."

July 19, 2012
Union bugs infest London Olympics

"Now train drivers in central England plan to walk out in the middle of the Olympics..."

July 18, 2012
Half of IPCC’s global warming created by data adjustments

"A new scientific paper, peer-reviewed and presented to..."

July 17, 2012
Eco-libtard Bill Gates funding scary climate experiment in New Mexico

"This follows his failed 2009 giant-tub proposal for stopping hurricanes..."

July 16, 2012
IPCC admits past reports were junk

"Relax, this isn’t an ad for GEICO – that’s Rajendra K. Pachauri..."

July 15, 2012
Guess who held a fundraiser in China

"That’s right, the same White House Occupant who accuses Mitt Romney of outsourcing..."

July 13, 2012
Don’t skinny dip in Liuzhou

"Somebody apparently dumped their aquarium piranhas in the river..."

July 11, 2012
First photo uploaded to the World Wide Web

"Turns out the history-making picture was a clumsy Photoshop mess..."

July 10, 2012
Socialist farmers cry over spilled milk

"European dairy farmers are upset..."

July 8, 2012
Speaking of pronouns at Harvard…

"...the Harvard Crimson felt obligated to apologize for using one."

July 6, 2012
Obama snuffs out another industry

"With the stroke of a pen today, Barack Obama..."

July 6, 2012
Australia’s Girl Guides drop the Queen from their pledge

"Possibly belated acknowledgement of their allegiance to King Mike?"

July 5, 2012
Rightful King of England dies in Australia

"The man historical researchers determined was the rightful heir..."

July 4, 2012
U.S. Army building mysterious island in Chesapeake Bay

"For conspiracy theorists wondering where the government is going to imprison us..."

July 3, 2012
Muslim charged with 9 counts of attempted murder

"No, that’s not a photo of the Middle East, sorry to say..."

July 2, 2012
Satanists claim theft is hate crime

"They put a sign on their house that said, “VOTE SATAN” and it was stolen..."

July 1, 2012
“All I said was…"

"All I said was... You have three beautiful children."

June 30, 2012
SEAL training range removes Muslim target

"Bowing to pressure from the Council on American-Islamic Relations..."

June 29, 2012
46,159 Canadians left the country for healthcare in 2011

"Most of them were fleeing socialized Canadian healthcare..."

June 29, 2012
TSA humiliates Captain Kirk

"William Shatner was singled out for a search by TSA inspectors..."

June 27, 2012
D.C. schools spending more than $29,000 per student

"According to the Census Bureau..."

June 26, 2012
Scientific study determines Antarctic ice not melting

"The funny thing is..."

June 25, 2012
Gay pride guests at White House flip the bird at Ronald Reagan

"It happened about a week ago..."

June 25, 2012
NBC’s Today Show does it again

"Remember how the Today Show edited George Zimmerman’s 911 call..."

June 24, 2012
Mayor Bloomberg has a message for America

"Referring to gay marriage before joining Saturday’s gay pride parade, the mayor said..."

June 17, 2012
Bill Maher and Nobel Prize-winning liberal economist can’t multiply

"Bill Maher wants to know how much 87 times 5 is..."

June 15, 2012
Study says it’s not a myth – Whole Foods customers really are jerks

"Yep, it’s scientific consensus..."

June 13, 2012
Parents at progressive school in a panic

"At the Blue School, a $32,000-per-year private charter school in Manhattan..."

June 12, 2012
Obama priorities

"The president’s enforcement thugs ignore Black Panthers..."

June 11, 2012
Guess who’s been overspending

"The Nobel Foundation..."

June 10, 2012
Krugman speaks, nobody listens

"The NY Times columnist was scheduled to speak at Netroots 2012..."

June 10, 2012
“Obama Girl” won’t endorse Obama

"Amber Lee Ettinger, whose sexy 2008 video “Crush on Obama” was a YouTube sensation..."

June 9, 2012
HBO’s new season of True Blood will target conservatives

"HBO targeting conservatives is nothing new, but this time..."

June 9, 2012
Today is World Naked Bike Day in San Francisco

"Liberals never run out of stupid ideas..."

June 8, 2012
Obama, super fundraiser

"President Obama has now held 150 fundraisers for his re-election..."

June 7, 2012
Head of CBS admits to partisanship

"To which we reply, “No shit, Sherlock...""

June 7, 2012
Obama jokes about oral sex to gay backers

"(No puns about the word “backers,” okay?)"

June 6, 2012
Obama makes Thunderbirds wait so he can attend fundraiser

"Class, all class..."

June 4, 2012
The chart that proves Obama is not a budget cutter

"The president is traveling around the country claiming to be fiscally responsible..."

June 4, 2012
Navy counting on new stealth ship

"At $3 billion per ship it’s a hard sell in Congress..."

June 4, 2012
Death during threesome nets $3 million

"Who says the American tort system doesn’t work?"

June 4, 2012
Seat belt law for cats!

"Just when you thought those East Coast whackos and their police states couldn’t get any weirder..."

June 2, 2012
Illinois fails at pension reform… but approves guide horses for Muslims

"As the state slides toward bankruptcy..."

June 2, 2012
Desperate investment bank entertains novel suggestion

"How bad is the worldwide financial crisis?"

June 1, 2012
DC Comics decides Green Lantern is gay

"Remember when comic books were just comic books?"

May 31, 2012
And they wonder why people keep moving out of New York

"Mayor Michael “Nanny” Bloomberg has decided to ban large soft drinks..."

May 31, 2012
According to the CBO, Obama’s stimulus may have cost $4.1 million per job

"Sure, that sounds expensive but hey..."

May 30, 2012
Take this, Elizabeth Warren!

"Warren bragged about nursing during her bar exams..."

May 30, 2012
North Carolina orders blogger to stop giving dietary advice

"According to the state, you can’t talk about diet..."

May 29, 2012
Michelle Obama sponsors a submarine

"What does that mean?"

May 29, 2012
Oh great, now he’s pissed off the Poles

"While awarding a posthumous Medal of Freedom to Polish professor Jan Karski..."

May 29, 2012
U.N. appoints dictator thug Robert Mugabe as ambassador for tourism

"The U.N. thinks he has hidden talents in the field of tourism..."

May 28, 2012
Saudis afraid of Happy Meal Power Ranger toy

"Muslims in Saudi Arabia are upset about a McDonald’s Happy Meal toy..."

May 27, 2012
Paul Krugman has another brilliant idea

"He wants more government spending SO BAD..."

May 27, 2012
MSNBC host doesn’t like calling fallen military “heroes”

"Chris Hayes, intellectualizing on the topic of military casualties..."

May 23, 2012
What would Larry Flynt look like if he was ugly?

"That's why the picture is there, so you’ll know..."

May 22, 2012
Maybe the greatest American hero of all time dies

"Meet Eugene Polley, who invented the TV remote control..."

May 22, 2012
Ass rape sparks riot in Yemen

"A donkey mounted an ass and the two owners came from different tribes, so..."

May 21, 2012
Former CNN exec still spreading crap

"Bob Furnad, executive at CNN and CNN Headline News from 1984-2001, was caught on video..."

May 20, 2012
Mark Zuckerberg has good timing

"He married Priscilla Chan on Saturday, one day after Facebook went public..."

May 19, 2012
Undergrad catches Nobel Prize winner Paul Krugman strangling the data

"Krugman created a graph using only 5 countries and only 3 months..."

May 18, 2012
Bill Maher wishes he had a son who acted like Trayvon Martin

"I just want to say if I had a son..."

May 18, 2012
Al Gore has a girlfriend

"Her name is Elizabeth Keadle..."

May 16, 2012
What’s missing from this picture?

"This is a photo of the PGA Minority Collegiate Golf Champions..."

May 15, 2012
Muslims finally win a battle in the culture wars

"The largest Muslim nation in the world, Indonesia, has denied Lady Gaga a permit..."

May 8, 2012
Brian Williams feels ‘unmitigated joy’ when daughter masturbates

"The NBC anchor is estatic that his daughter, Allison, has a starring role..."

May 5, 2012
Which of these two Harvard law professors is Native American?

"Answer: both of these blue-eyed palefaces claim to be Native American..."

May 2, 2012
Possibly the funniest climate photo ever

"British climate alarmists said drought was 'inevitable' this spring..."

May 1, 2012
Canadian auto bailout cost $474,000 per GM employee

"It wasn’t just the U.S. government that wasted money on auto bailouts in 2009..."

May 1, 2012
What’s up with women lately?

"We just finished talking about the Chinese woman who killed a man by squeezing his testicles..."

May 1, 2012
James Hansen to block Warren Buffet’s coal trains

"Who do we root for in this one?"

April 30, 2012
Believe it or not, Dan Rather still thinks the Bush memos are real

"Never mind that they were printed in a Microsoft Word font that didn’t exist yet..."

April 28, 2012
TSA screener asks 79-year-old if she’s wearing a sanitary napkin

"When she answered no, he announced loudly..."

April 28, 2012
Royal Society publishes new “People and the planet report"

"Surprise, surprise, they want developed countries to consume less..."

April 25, 2012
Obama’s EPA experimented on human guinea pigs

"This story is a microcosm of what happens to government under liberals..."

April 24, 2012
The naked judge of Detroit

"Meet Wayne County 3rd Circuit Court Judge Wade McCree..."

April 24, 2012
Gaia inventor admits to being alarmist about climate

"In 2006 James Lovelock said..."

April 23, 2012
What if they held an Earth Day and nobody showed up?

"In Washington, D.C., they were expecting tens of thousands of people..."

April 23, 2012
This is knot funny

"A 27-year-old actor in Brazil accidentally hung himself..."

April 22, 2012
Starbucks gets the bugs out

"To please vegetarian customers who objected to having crushed cochineal beetles..."

April 20, 2012
The statistics are in – 100% of men who get pregnant end up divorced

"Thomas Beatie, the female-to-male transsexual who had a baby after legally becoming a man..."

April 8, 2012
Obama campaign paying for ads on Brietbart.com?

"This might be a sign that Obama is getting desperate..."

April 6, 2012
Palin beats Couric in head-to-head ratings contest

"On Tuesday, Sarah Palin was guest-hosting the Today show..."

April 5, 2012
Polar bear survey says bears are doing fine

"So much for the global warming doomsayers..."

April 5, 2012
Victim of scrotum attack taken to Ball Memorial Hospital

"Now why isn’t THIS considered a hate crime?"

April 3, 2012
Russian spy was close to member of Obama inner circle

"Since they don’t mention the name of the official dilly-dallying with Anna, one wonders..."

April 1, 2012
Disney Epcot sacrifices fat villains to political correctness

"The National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance objected..."

March 30, 2012
Professor accidentally validates the science of phrenology

"We know, we know, it’s a strange headline, but look at that crazy face..."

March 29, 2012
Iranian female ninjas sue Reuters

"IHTM readers used to be fascinated by Muammar Gaddafi’s virgin bodyguards..."

March 25, 2012
Trayvon Martin’s doctored hoodie photo

"Why do you suppose the media did this? They took a legitimate photo..."

March 23, 2012
WARNING: Your gag reflex might engage

"Especially if you loved Captain America as a kid..."

March 19, 2012
Mayor Bloomberg turns down food donated to homeless people

"The mayor’s food dictators are afraid donated food might be too salty..."

March 16, 2012
GPS directs Japanese tourists into ocean

"The GPS said drive into the ocean... so they did."

March 16, 2012
Geographically challenged president doesn’t know where he is

"He gave a shout-out to the mayor of Petersburg..."

March 15, 2012
Obama misquotes another Republican

"This time it’s Rutherford B. Hayes, 19th president, dead for 120 years..."

March 15, 2012
Elementary school principal renames St. Patrick’s Day

"In an attempt to appease the gods of political correctness..."

March 14, 2012
Wilt Chamberlain had nothing on Jocko Besne

"Wilt claimed to have had sex with 20,000 women, but Jocko..."

March 13, 2012
Oops, estimated cost of Obamacare doubles

"According to the CBO, not only is it twice as expensive..."

March 13, 2012
Collection of Obama rudeness

"Who can watch this man in action and contemplate voting for his reelection?"

March 9, 2012
New “affordable” government lightbulb costs $50

"It’s a mystery why so many of us lack trust in the government..."

March 8, 2012
Switzerland wants its gold back

"Supposedly the gold is in the basement of the New York Federal Reserve..."

March 7, 2012
Apparently there was a military coup and nobody told Congress

"The number of times Pannetta has taken an oath to uphold the consitution..."

March 7, 2012
Socialized healthcare = end of individual liberty

"In the UK, if you want a hip replacement..."

March 7, 2012
School apologizes for shouting “USA! USA!” at basketball game

"Somehow, some way, the school district decided that..."

March 6, 2012
Orator-in-chief says “uhh” 96 times in 5 minutes

"Meanwhile, the other guy, Benjamin Netanyahu, speaks clearly and eloquently..."

March 4, 2012
The face of the mortgage crisis?

"This couple has used liberal bleeding-heart legislation..."

February 25, 2012
Hogs gone wild in Islamabad

"If you don’t get a chuckle out of the idea..."

February 23, 2012
Italian physicists can’t decide whether neutrinos travelled faster than light

"They ran into three problems..."

February 23, 2012
Gas prices too high? Don’t worry, Obama has a new idea: ALGAE!

"If we can figure out how to make energy out of that, we’ll be doing alright..."

February 21, 2012
Magic Johnson launches new TV network

"The new channel is called 'Aspire.' A better name would be 'Conspire'..."

February 19, 2012
Test tube hamburgers will be here in 8 months

"LISTEN TO ME, HATCHER! YOU GOTTA TELL ‘EM! SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!"

February 16, 2012
Pentagon consultant says Eisenhower met with alien

"The former consultant claims President Eisenhower set up the meeting telepathically..."

February 14, 2012
Study says electric cars dirtier than gasoline cars

"And the study only looked at air pollution..."

February 10, 2012
Turns out cats really do make you crazy

"According to scientists, felines harbor a parasite that commandeers your brain cells..."

February 7, 2012
BBC to staff: don’t call al-Qaeda preacher an “extremist”

"That sounds too much like a “value judgment” and everybody knows the BBC doesn’t have values..."

February 5, 2012
Iran makes it official

"In such troubling times, isn’t it reassuring that Barry Obama... is in charge?"

February 3, 2012
Tourette’s-like syndrome sweeps through rural New York town

"Finally, a possible explanation for the behavior of Anthony Weiner..."

January 31, 2012
So how’s Michelle Obama doing on that childhood obesity thing?

"...oops, the kids are just as fat."

January 22, 2012
Radical feminist refuses to admit son is a boy

"She gave him a gender-neutral name..."

January 20, 2012
Could SOPA violate freedom of religion?

"Wednesday was SOPA blackout day and Thursday the FBI raided and shut down Megaupload, so WWIII is clearly underway..."

January 18, 2012
Socialized medicine wants your brain

"Britain’s National Institutes of Health in Dorset has been caught removing children’s brains..."

January 17, 2012
So THAT’S why Harry Reid is still in Washington!

"Turns out the city has a law that protects rats..."

November 16, 2011
North Korea now open to tourists

"But if you want to eat, bring your own food..."

November 6, 2011
Why does Keith “Muslim Brotherhood” Ellison want to outlaw voter identification?

"Maybe some of those Somali cab drivers at the Mineapolis airport are having trouble voting..."

October 21, 2011
Solyndra to hold bankruptcy auction – taxpayers won’t see a dime

"Thanks to our genius Department of Energy Secretary, Steven Chu..."

October 14, 2011
Lanny Davis wants Republicans to stop picking on Eric Holder

"In step with recent anti-bullying campaigns across the nation..."

October 10, 2011
Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Minn.) says government regulations CREATE jobs

"No kidding, that’s what he thinks."

October 1, 2011
Al Sharpton and the free $500 stimulus checks

"All you have to do is give Al’s National Action Network your name, address, birth date, and social security number. Identity theft? Don’t be paranoid!"

September 15, 2011
Tiny Japanese robot will attempt Ironman Triathlon in Hawaii

"Afterward, the tiny little robot will get drunk and plug into the first friendly receptacle he sees..."

September 15, 2011
Trio of Democrats wants to eliminate debt ceiling because it’s dangerous

"One of the three is Hank Johnson, the guy who thought Guam might tip over..."

September 15, 2011
Henry Waxman says Jews are only going Republican because “they want to protect their wealth”

"Which brings up an interesting philosophical question: can a Jewish congressman be anti-Semitic?"

September 11, 2011
Too much lamb, not enough lion

"Ten years ago, at the “Prayer for America” after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, only one lonely Armenian clergyman had the courage to speak the words, “Jesus Christ.”"

September 1, 2011
Sick irony: Libyan rebels backed by black U.S. president massacring blacks

"Didn’t Obama say we were bombing Libya to protect innocent civilians?"

August 31, 2011
Panel of scholars reviews facts, says Jefferson did NOT father Sally Hemings’ children

"But bureaucrats at Monticello insist that a “consensus” of historians feels otherwise. There’s that word again. “Consensus” is starting to be a synonym for “stupid.”"

August 30, 2011
Small town printing its own money to fight austerity

"Hey, the Obama Administration did the same thing – they called it Quantitative Easing 1 and Quantitative Easing 2."

August 30, 2011
Darwinists’ Dilemma

"How can they maintain their facade of being open-minded and scientific while silencing all scientific debate? It’s a $110,000 conundrum, and as usual with liberal conundrums, taxpayers have to pay for it."

August 30, 2011
Don’t worry about the gas mileage – they don’t actually drive that bus anywhere

"That big black bus we bought for Obama? The one they call “The Beast?” They don’t actually drive it to the president’s campaign stops – they fly it there, then he jumps aboard and rides in it from the airport."

August 29, 2011
Wisconsin Labor Day parade says, “No Republicans allowed"

"Those tolerant, all-inclusive, open-minded Democrats strike again."

August 29, 2011
Just perfect: Another Ivy League professor to save the economy

"Obama nominates Princeton University’s Alan Krueger to be the new chairman of the White House Council of Economic Advisers. His credentials include the wildly successful Obama tax incentives designed to encourage higher employment, and the “Cash for Clunkers” program."

August 29, 2011
Global Warming causes mental illness!

"We always knew there was a correlation, but didn’t they get the headline backward?"

August 28, 2011
Global Warming strikes again – Mosquitoes disappearing in Africa

"Oh, the woes of Global Warming! Scientists say climate change has killed off so many African mosquitoes that researchers can’t test their drugs in some areas… because there are no children left with malaria."

On August 28, 2011, IHTM changed their format. No more short articles – now it's merely a bold headline followed by one or two sentences of snarky comment. But it's still fun, and I still contribute.

August 14, 2011
Duck down under

"Morning television news fare in the United States is so bland and politically correct, it’s a wonder any of us manages to wake up and get to work. Ann Curry talking about the debt limit? Al Roker warning us about global warming during a summer heat wave? Puh-leeze. That’s why it’s good to watch foreign news teams in action every so often, just to show us what’s possible..."

July 19, 2011
Damn, we hope the Republicans are learning something in Minnesota

"Republicans in Minnesota gave Democrats (actually, they’re called Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party members in Minnesota, for some odd reason) a two-punch knockout combo that offers Republicans in Washington, D.C., a roadmap for how to win the budget battle against Obama..."

April 26, 2011
Where the wild things are not

"In the IHTM tradition of never missing an opportunity to run a story about scantily-clad women, we bring you breaking news from Lead, South Dakota..."

April 23, 2011
Yes, you really can make that certain part of the male anatomy longer

"Leave it to the Italians to research the important stuff. To hell with military lasers, quantum computers, electric cars, and stemcell breakthroughs – Marco Orderda and Paolo Gontero of the University of Turin did a meta-study on penis enlargement techniques."

April 20, 2011
Gettin’ out while the gettin’s good: Huckabee alligator leaps fence and escapes

"Political pundits are furiously analyzing the tactical repercussions to Mike Huckabee’s presidential aspirations after a nine foot alligator escaped from the Gov. Mike Huckabee Delta Rivers Nature Center in Pine Bluff, Arkansas."

April 19, 2011
Shocker: Roger Ebert didn’t like Atlas Shrugged

"Why can’t liberal journalists be honest? If they believe in a specific brand of political philosophy, that’s fine, but shouldn’t they stick to facts when making their case?"

April 13, 2011
Bobby Ghosh and Chuck Todd: Ignorance x ignorance = another typical day at MSNBC

"Many people wonder why mainstream journalists seem to be at war with Western civilization. Now we have the answer. Turns out they aren’t fighting the Judeo-Christian worldview – they simply don’t have a clue what “Judeo-Christian” means."

March 1, 2011
Noted California climate expert says it’s getting colder, not warmer

"Okay, he’s not really a scientist per se, but he does have a solid reputation for predicting the weather. Meet Mojave Max, a 34-year-old desert tortoise..."