Barack Obama is almost entirely a creature of myth and one of those myths is that he’s athletic.  This shouldn’t matter but for some reason it irritates the crap out of me.

One more comment from love-struck journalists about his jump shot or his golf game and I’m gonna pop a vein.

It says something about Team Obama that they go to incredible lengths to support this fiction.  Remember that film clip of young Barry Obama playing high school basketball?  It’s gone.  Removed from the Internet and public eyes.  I clearly remember watching the video on YouTube and thinking to myself, “Good God, the man is not a player at all.  And he’s certainly not an athlete.”

Economy in shambles, national debt threatening our nation’s existence, Iran and North Korea manufacturing nuclear bombs, and the president has White House staff spending time removing high school basketball videos from the Internet.  Sheesh.

More mind boggling than the effort to maintain this myth is the mystery of why so many people believe so many things about Barack Obama that are clearly untrue.  Such willful disregard for reality is frightening.  The implication is that millions of Americans are suffering from mass hysteria or had their brains sucked out by space aliens.

There is a myth that he’s intelligent, for example, even though nobody has seen his scholastic records or any example of scholarly writing.  None.  Nada.  Zip.  Somehow he went to three different universities without leaving a trail.

He matriculated like an Apache ghost.

Another myth is that he’s eloquent, even though he uses a teleprompter for every speech and stutters like Porky Pig when the teleprompter breaks... and there’s a myth that he’s a centrist, even though his background is entirely radical leftist and he belonged to a far-left socialist political group before running for office as a Democrat... and there’s a myth that he brought a fresh attitude to Washington, even though he is arguably the most partisan and unethical president ever.

He’s the world’s first mythanthrope.  You read it here first.

As for the Obama-is-an-athlete myth, well, in a nutshell the man is the gawkiest little sissy who ever chased, kicked, dribbled, shot, or threw a ball.

He throws like a girl, just watch (especially the slow-motion replay at the 50-second mark):

See what I mean?  That’s our president.  Our commander-in-chief.

Here’s a video that compares Bush to Obama and you can see the difference between a man’s throw and... well, you know:

If you think Obama’s lack of first-pitching skill is an abberation, well, the man bowled a 37 in Pennsylvania during the presidential campaign.  37!  They say he threw 5 gutterballs in a row at one point.  If you’re not a bowler and have no idea what a score of 37 means, the top score is 300, most grown men can break 100 barely trying while half drunk and arguing with their wife, and you could blindfold me and tie one hand behind my back and give me a ball without finger holes and I’d still break 37... and I’m not even a bowler.

The pièce de résistance for Obama-is-an-athlete myth-busting hit the Internet this past week.  It’s a video that somebody took showing Mr. Obama (it’s undated so I can’t say whether he was president yet) at a golfing range in Hawaii... honing his game.  At least I think he’s honing his game.  It’s difficult to be sure because I’ve never seen a golf swing look like that.  It’s ugly.

And funny as hell.  Has he been taking lessons from Charles Barkley?

You better watch it quick, before the White House figures out a legal reason to have it banned from the Internet:

So there, that’s the story of Obama’s athleticism.  One myth down, two or three dozen to go.


From Reno, Nevada, USA

September 20, 2011 - I can vouch for you. I saw Obama's attempt to throw the ball to the catcher and yes, he threw like a girl and the ball didn't come close to getting to home plate. The announcers were too frightened to even joke about it. Later, when he was interviewed by one of the commentators, he made a big deal about being such a big fan of the White Sox. When asked who his favorite White Sox player was, he couldn't name one name. Some fan. - Dean H., Kansas City

J.P. replies: Did you notice that both videos of Obama throwing a baseball have been removed from YouTube now?  I find it unbelievable that the White House, with all the various crises the nation faces, is wasting its time hiding the president’s lack of coordination.

November 14, 2010 - Jim, do we have to tell all the golf stories about you? Or maybe your kayaking prowess! - Pat T., Michigan

J.P. replies: E tu, Brute?  You were my partner in the golf league, Pat.  You’re supposed to be on my side.

August 1, 2010 - JP, I played golf with you at Crystal Mountain. I remember one waste bunker that you took about 10 strokes to get out of! As for Obama I think he is a hell of a lot better golfer than President. The country would be a hell of a lot better if he became a full time golfer. - John K., Michigan

J.P. replies: How are you, John?  Yes, I can remember some hellacious rounds at Crystal Mountain.  Thanks for reminding me... but hopefully you don’t mean that I was ever—EVER—as bad as Obama in that video.  Even when I was drunk.

June 30, 2010 - Your obsessions are showing. - Larry M., New York

J.P. replies: You mean that in a good way, right?

June 29, 2010 - I'd almost consider pay-per-view to see a golf match between Rush and Barrack. After seeing that swing I'd bet on Rush. - Rich H., Michigan

June 29, 2010 - After I quit laughing - I might make a comment - but then, what can I say when the picture (video) said it all? - Jane, Indiana